Nicolas Cage and the Mariners

My friend decided today that he was going to have a Nicolas Cage marathon.  Being the ridiculous person I am, I thought it was a great idea.  Nicolas Cage is my least favorite actor.  This marathon could give me a new perspective on why he has taken that role in my life.  Truth to be told, I only made it through one movie before other things came up but that was enough time to make me think of a few Nic Cage and Seattle Mariner similarities.

  • Both Nicolas Cage and the Mariners do the same thing over and over again.  Nicolas Cage has acted the same role in about 20 different movies.  The Mariners have lost about 40 games in the same fashion this year.  They just don’t know anything different and couldn’t do anything different if they tried.
  • Both are amazingly mediocre and then have spurts of being terrible.  Lets look at the National Treasure movies.  There is not much wrong with those movies but then again, there isn’t much right with those movies.  You might watch it if it were on TV but have you ever heard anyone say the National Treasure movies were there favorite?  If you have, you should have hit that person.  The Mariners are very mediocre.  They keep games close and don’t get blown out all that often but they don’t possess the firepower to win many of those games.  Then, all of a sudden, Nic Cage makes Bangkok Dangerous.  That is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen.  He’ll make a few more mediocre movies and then make The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.  I haven’t seen that but it has to be terrible, right?  The Mariners are mediocre, their pitching goes away and they’re terrible and the cycle repeats.
  • When Wak lets Sean White pitch for too long bad things happen and it’s disgusting.  When Nicolas Cage lets his hair grow too long he looks disgusting and bad movies happen.
  • Both make you fall asleep.  At least I know I’ve fallen asleep to both.
  • Last but not least, both make me somewhat happy.  Yes, I saved the cheesy one for last.  For some reason, watching Mr. Cage cracks me up.  He should take that as an insult but at least I’m enjoying myself when he’s on the screen.  He keeps me coming back to see how bad he’s gotten.  The Mariners keep me coming back too.  Whether it’s to watch Felix, see Smoak and Saunders develop, make fun of Rob Johnson, or see Ichiro being Ichiro, I don’t miss many games.  Sure, both make me feel sick at times but they also make me happy.

I’m going to go watch The Wicker Man now.  Have a good weekend everyone.




Filed under Mariners

3 responses to “Nicolas Cage and the Mariners

  1. Matthew

    I’m a little hurt you would write this knowing my great love for Nic Cage.

    Okay, favorite Nic Cage movies. Go!
    1. Gone in 60 Seconds
    2. National Treasure
    3. Face/Off
    4. The Rock
    5. National Treasure 2

    • I never knew you had a great love for Gone in 60 Seconds? Why haven’t we talked about this.

      • Matthew

        Yeah, it’s a good one, although National Treasure could probably tie for the top spot on this illustrious list. After I saw this post last night, I kept thinking of the part in 60 seconds where they turn on “Low Rider” before going out to steal the cars. Classic.

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