Lions, Tigers, and Giraffes! Oh My!

If you haven’t heard, Steve Sarkisian brought a live Tiger to Husky football practice today.  She was in her cage and not the defensive tackle of the scout team.  This is supposedly happening so that the Huskies won’t be distracted by LSU’s tiger on Saturday night.  Personally, I think Sark was inspired by ‘We Bought A Zoo’ (I haven’t actually seen that) and wants to start his own.  Sark will get made fun of for this stunt, which is fine, but I’m all for having live animals around.  That brings me to the point of this very short, and very ridiculous blog post!  This is a top 5 list of animals I’d like to see at football practice.  I left off a tiger, although it’s very close a to a top-5 finish.

5.  Giraffe

This scores an A for awesomeness, but a D for actual possibility of happening.  Of course, bringing a giraffe to football practice is completely plausible!  If you bring two, you could just use their necks as the field goal posts.  But, the problem is there is no college with a giraffe as a mascot.  There are Fighting Pickles, Fighting Okra, and Purple Aces but no giraffes.  My goodness.

4.  Bald Eagle

The Long brother’s have a fascination with eagles.  Can you imagine how inspiring it would be to look up at a bald eagle soaring over your practice field and then calling, “Hike!”  Touchdown every time.  Plus, there are tons of teams that have eagles as their mascot.  A giraffe would kill an eagle, just saying.

3.  Hippos

Another one that scores high on the awesome list but drops down due to plausibility.  Hippo’s are very dangerous and it’d be hard to control them.  Do they have cages that big?  Where do they get cages that big?  Also, the only school with a hippo as the mascot, George Washington, has now dropped that mascot.  What are these schools thinking?  Hippos are so menacing.  They kill more people in Africa than all other animals combined.  Really, that was the only true and serious sentence in this blog post.

2.  Elephant

I hate the Alabama Crimson Tide.  But, if Sark wanted to bring an elephant wearing a red sweater to practice then I think he should be up for a lifetime contract extension.  He could spray the players off with his trunk after a hot, hard day of practice.  I’m on to something.  Aren’t you excited to see what’s number one!

1.  Lion

He’s the king of the Jungle and also the king of football practice fields.  I understand why coaches don’t bring lions in now, they are too majestic.  If you bring in a lion, then it’s all downhill from there.  Pride Rock can’t hold a lion.  They’re the only animal worthy of an Elton John song.  They are just the so awesome.  Unless you talk to me about bulldogs, camels, and flying squirrels.

I’m sorry your read this!

Andrew

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