Jack Zduriencik: Hey Cliff, want to know something neat?
Cliff Lee: Yeah, sure.
Z: The first letter of my last name and your full last name rhyme.
Lee: Umm…. Yeah, that’s pretty cool.
Z: That’s just one of the reasons you should sign an extension with us.
Lee: How about a few more reasons?
Z: If you insist. You could be a part of the best 1-2 punch in baseball with King Felix for the next few years. We could even get you a sweet nickname if you stick around. How’s ‘Prime Minister Lee’ sound? Or ‘Cliff the Dictator’? I’ve got a whole list of ideas in my office.
Lee: Sounds enticing.
Z: You could also have one of the best defenses in baseball at your back every time you take the mound. Don’t forget about one of the most pitcher-friendly parks in baseball! Your ERA could be under 2.50 for the next 4 years!
Lee: Cool, not as cool as the nicknames but still cool.
Z: We also have some people who you don’t want to leave here. Cliff, you’ll never be able to get as many hugs as you do in this clubhouse. And if you ever need someone to fight for you we’ve got this guy named Milton who’s been trying to find more constructive ways to unleash his frustrations.
Z: Seattle will grow to love you and you can become the hero that finally brings this city a world championship.
Lee: That’s important to everyone, including me.
Z: 4 years for 75 million sound about right?
Lee: I’ll think about it.
Z: That’s all I ask. Did I mention that our offense scores you 15 runs a game here?
Lee: Umm…. In my first 4 starts they only scored a combined 10 runs Jack.
Z: We’re pretending like we started the season two days ago. It makes me feel much better. Plus, you know the guy who hit 3 doubles off of you last night? That Gonzalez fellow? He’ll be a Mariner soon.
Lee: Oh, sounds good. Let the good times roll!
(I could never be as cool as Cliff Lee, or Jack for that matter. Cliff would never say “let the good times roll” he would say something much cooler that I can’t even dream of right now. He is that far superior to me and everyone else.)