Mariners Recap — 5/21/2010

Hero: Mike Sweeney and Josh Bard. Gotta go with co-heroes in this one. Those two were monsters last night.
Goat: Jose Lopez. Lost in the fun and hugs from last night is the 0-5 night Lopey had. His defense has been great and with so many others struggling at the plate, Jose has flown under the radar. It’s tough to imagine Lopez gets anywhere near his 25 HR, 96 RBI from last year.

Finally, if you didn’t read the live blog that Jeff Sullivan was doing over at LL, it is worth a read. I have pasted a few of my favorite lines. That dude is funny, and between the humor he recaps the game nicely too. Check that out after the jump!

By Jeff Sullivan, lookoutlanding.com

8:21: Josh Bard could not possibly be doing a better job of winning people over. Only a handful of games, but I guarantee that any sour taste left by his miserable spring training has been cleansed away by so many cucumbers. And by cucumbers here I mean line drives and that home run.
8:23: Josh Bard has a beak like an eagle, and he’s bald. Josh Bard is a bald eagle.
8:27: Lee throws an inside fastball in the dirt. Bard keeps it in the glove. Five-year contract. From some angles, by the way, Chris Denorfia looks like Steve Finley, which is not a compliment.
8:32: Bradley catches the last out of the inning, flips the ball into the bleachers, and makes sure the fan makes the catch before he turns and runs to the dugout. Milton cares. It’s the little things.
8:39: Another dinger. Nobody came forward for Mike Sweeney to fight in the clubhouse, so instead he’s decided to beat up my words.
8:47: Another line drive for Josh Bard. This is unbelievable. Granted, Chris Denorfia misplayed that ball something terrible, but you can probably go ahead and give Bard the key to the city. Somewhere, Rob Johnson tries to cut himself but keeps dropping the razor.
9:03: Adrian Gonzalez: 3-3, 3 doubles. Everybody else: 5-21, 1 double, 5 strikeouts. Pitchers: 4 IP, 13 runs. This is the season everyone thought the Padres were going to have, in one game.
9:36: Third strikeout for Venable. Don’t really care that he reached on a wild pitch. Will Venable got his Princeton B.A. in anthropology. He should’ve majored in Anthropologie because THAT’S WHERE HE’S GONNA BE WORKING NEXT WEEK BITCHES
9:53: And the Rally Fries have officially been handed out. In case you missed it, we’ve already scored 15 runs. We could at least just call them Attention Potatoes.
10:03: Fourth strikeout for Venable. One groundout, four strikeouts, and a dropped fly ball. The funny thing is I like Will Venable. But I also like the baristas at Starbucks, and I think I might rather watch one of them hit.
10:33: David Eckstein is a little man with a little heart. A perilously little heart, that doesn’t pump enough oxygen. He is dying.
10:38: Sweet baby Jesus, that was a lot of fun.

It was only one game, and one win does not erase the dreadful 5-14 record this team has in May. 15 runs does not take away the sting of being 5-11 in one run games and 0-5 in extra innings, not to mention the other countless shoulda been, coulda been wins. For fans who are disappointed by anything short of a championship, this team is probably not worth your time. I don’t watch the Mariners, or any of my teams for that matter, with a championship or bust mentality. Thus, I can get great satisfaction out of games like last night, where for one night anyway, our home team was dominant. It was very enjoyable.

-Dan