Tag Archives: Pac-12 mascots

by | September 10, 2013 · 9:35 pm

Around The Pac-12 – Week 3

Edit: For the second week in a row I posted right after Matthew.  Sorry, Matthew.  Here’s his post which is actually about football and real teams. 

The Pac-12 showed well in their non-conference games last week, winning all of them.  None of the early games set us up for the night-cap of USC-WSU.  It’s been 4 days and I still don’t know what to say about that game.

This week brings a tougher test to Pac-12 teams as the non-conference slate of games is nearing an end.  With that in mind, if you have any ideas on contests you’d like to see the mascots face-off in put them in the comments!  If you don’t, you’ll be stuck with my boring ideas.

For now, you get this week’s match-ups.  No, these aren’t the football teams that I think are going to win.  I pick the mascots that would win in a fight!

UCLA Bruins at Nebraska Corn-Huskers – 9 A.M. Saturday

In the past, I’ve talked about how I like it when mascots fit the region that they are in.  Nebraska definitely did that, but at what point does it become a fault?  At what point does a regional relevant mascot become a dumb mascot?  Nebraska probably passes that line.  Yes, we don’t think about Nebraska having a dumb mascot now because it’s been around for a long time but if Nebraska had just now decided that their mascot would be a Corn-Husker we all would be laughing and making snarky comments on Twitter.  Also, at what point do you become a Corn-Husker?  I’ve husked corn.  Am I a corn husker?  Is there a certain amount of hours you have to put in?  A certain amount of ears of corn? The Bruin is nice because it is actually frightening.  Imagine being out camping.  On one side of the camp ground a bruin walks in, on the other side a guy is husking corn… You’d probably be frightened for the Husker.  While the Husker gets us some delicious corn, he is mauled by a Bruin.

Stanford Cardinal at Army Black Knights – 9 A.M. Saturday

I have a hard time knocking Army.  With that being said, I do think that they missed out on an opportunity here.  Army is one of the few schools that has a mascot as its actual school name.  So, why didn’t they just insert an ‘of’ into their school name?  Even Army of Black Knights sounds pretty awesome.  Heck, let your mascot be your home city, Army.  Army of Westpoint?  Army of America?  Or give yourself a crazy mascot with ‘of’ before it.  ‘Army of Fire-Breathing Dragons’?  See what I mean.  Now, Black Knights is pretty cool.  Black simply refers to their jersey color way back when they got their name.  Stanford, on the other hand, is either a color or a tree.  Hey Stanford, Army used a color and mascot in their name!  Pretty cool, huh?  The tree is in awe of using a color as an adjective and gets chopped down by the knights.

Fresno State Bulldogs at Colorado Buffaloes – 11 A.M. Saturday

Some classy mascots here.  Bulldogs are about the coolest dog around.  Unfortunately, they aren’t the most active here.  Then again, whenever I’ve seen a real life buffalo they have just been standing around.  But, I’ve seen that buffalo in Colorado that storms across the field and I fear for any bulldog (or anything else) that stands in its way.  Bulldog gets trampled by the Buffalo.

Boston College Golden Eagles at USC Trojans – 12 P.M.

Oh boy!  What a match-up!  First, a few questions.  Was the eagle turned into gold?  Is it still able to fly, hunt, and do everything else other eagles do?  Since this is my post, I’m going to say that it is able to function as a normal eagle would.  A trojan, as I’ve covered before, is a little strange as well because they don’t really exist anymore.  Both of these things are pretty awesome though.  Eagles are the most majestic of animals (I’d be willing to listen if you said a lion was more so) and Trojans were pretty solid warriors.  Unfortunately for the human race, Trojans can’t fly and that’s what really sets the eagle apart.  You get some eagles dive bombing you, do you really think you stand a chance even with a sword and metal helmet on?  To a Trojan, an eagle might be even more frightening than a USC quarterback pass right now?  Zing.  Also, haha Lane Kiffin.  Eagles dive bomb the Trojans into obscurity.

Edit: As Matthew has pointed out in the comments below, a Golden Eagle is a real bird (duh) which will make this victory even easier.

Tennessee Volunteers at Oregon Ducks – 12:30 P.M.

So to recap Oregon’s non-conference mascot schedule, they have played some racist confederate Colonels and some supporters of King Charles.  Now, they get to play some people who volunteer.  Well, I guess you should play to your strengths when you’re a duck.  There aren’t many strengths so you schedule some awful mascots.  But wait!  After a little bit of research we find that the volunteer nickname is a regional relevant name that isn’t half as stupid as Corn-Huskers.  Tennessee is known as the Volunteers (and the Volunteer state) because of the state’s many volunteers in the War of 1812.  They played a prominent role in our country winning that war and specifically the Battle for New Orleans.  You can’t pull a fast one on me, Ducks!  As an aside, I have no idea why Tennessee’s mascot that dresses up is a dog.  It’s named Smokey, which is regionally relevant but I don’t see a connection to the Volunteer.

Even taking the standard definition of volunteer could probably beat a duck in a fight.  Even the random dog could probably beat that duck.  Ducks beaten by Tennessee’s three mascots: Generic volunteer, volunteer soldier in War of 1812, and Random Dog.

Washington Huskies at Illinois Illini – 3 P.M. Saturday

Another interesting match-up (good week, although it’s not quite as exciting after this)!  Huskies are one of the best dog breeds there is.  The Illini is believed to be a group of tribes around the Illinois area.  But, after some research, the truth comes out here.  Illini is not the name of these tribes.  Illiniwek is the name of six Native American tribes in the upper Mississippi River valley.  The only thing with the actual name Illini is this school and an Amtrak train.  Clearly, Illinois wanted to be known as the Native American tribes so why didn’t they just go with Illiniwek?  It doesn’t look as good?  It doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as nicely?  If you’re going to honor a tribe by naming your team off of him, you better actually name your team after them.  The Illini aren’t who we thought they were, Huskies win because a random train shows up and can’t fight.

Southern Utah Thunderbirds at Washington State Cougars – 3:30 P.M. Saturday 

Cougars are very tough and an intimidating animal.  Dang, Southern Utah!  That’s an awesome mascot!  The Thunderbirds.  But, does it stand up to the research?  Just because I want to name my next band that, doesn’t mean that your mascot gets a free pass.  Here is your definition: a mythical bird thought by some North American Indians to bring thunder.  Wow!  Of course, the United State Air Force also uses the name Thunderbirds for an air demonstration.  That’s pretty cool too.  I try to be fair to the Cougars in these because I really do think they have a solid mascot that is tough but you just can’t win this one.  You’re going against a bird that brings the thunder!  When someone says, “Bring the thunder!” it is actually because of this bird!  Thunderbirds eek out a close one, a thunderous match-up.

Ohio State Buckeyes at California Golden Bears – 4 P.M.  

Brutus

Brutus

Oh good, a Buckeye.  Are you kidding me?  Ohio State is named the Buckeyes because it’s what their state tree is.  We have a ‘Nebraska’ situation all over again.  Buckeye is relevant to Ohio but it’s also a tree.  Golden Bears are extinct, but at least they used to have the power to kill someone.  Trees have to be affected by something else to have the ability to hurt anyone.  Not to mention you have Brutus… What is Brutus?  Is he supposed to be a standard Ohio citizen?  Hasn’t someone else wondered this before?  The Golden Bears claw at the tree, known as a Buckeye, until it falls down.

Oregon State Beavers at Utah Utes – 7 P.M.

The lone Pac-12 match-up brings us unique mascots but, sadly, a not very close match-up.  Beavers chop down trees but I don’t really think they can chop down people.  Utes are a proud Native American tribe.  Native Americans usually had weapons.  Beavers don’t.  Utes stab Beavers repeatedly to death because they don’t give a dam.  (Sorry)

Texas San-Antonio Roadrunners at Arizona Wildcats  – 7:30 P.M.

You know my disdain for Wildcats.  They are stupid.  Roadrunners aren’t exceptionally tough but they smart and usually out-think their opponent.  They are quick and usually leave behind a trail of dust.  When they are escaping from their opponent, they usually mock said opponent with a noise that sounds like “Beep, beep” almost exactly like a car.  Roadrunners take a break from Wile E. Coyote and defeat the Wildcats.

Wisconsin Badgers at Arizona State Sun-Devils – 7:30 P.M.

badger

devil

You don’t need my help on this one.  Devil wins.

Andrew

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by | September 3, 2013 · 9:03 pm

Around The Pac-12 – Week 2

EDIT:  I should have paid better attention but Matthew wrote a post right below this one that you should go read.  It is much more informative than reading about mascots.  Here is the link if you don’t like to scroll.

The first week of Pac-12 play brought a few exciting games, a bad loss, and mostly predictability.  This week, we get our first conference game, a slew of uninteresting non-conference games and hopefully some awesome mascots!  Now, for your second installment of 2013…. Let’s get to the mascot post!

Until we get in to full-on conference play, I will simply just pit each game’s mascot against each other in a fight.  Using a very scientific method, I will determine which one will win and I’d recommend (if you’re the betting type) placing your money on that team.  We all know that the tougher mascot determines the better football team.  I’m sorry if I don’t like your school’s mascot.  I’m not actually.

Sacramento State Hornets vs. Arizona State Sun Devils – Thursday 10 P.M.

So, some people think bees/hornets are fairly evil.  My wife visibly gets flustered and sometimes lets out a scream when a hornet or bee gets near her.  She’s not alone in that.  Now, how do you think she would do if the devil came near her?  Now, this isn’t a contest to see what is the most intimidating thing but intimidation is built on fear.  Do you think the devil would be afraid of a hornet?  Not a chance.  If the hornet is even capable of having fear, it probably wouldn’t enjoy being around the devil.  Hornets are a formidable, annoying thing but they ran into one of the toughest battles out there.  Sun Devils flick the Hornets aside.

Weber State Wildcats vs. Utah Utes – Saturday 11 A.M.

This is one of the first images that shows up when you search "Wildcat" on Google. This is many peoples mascot... Idiots.

This is one of the first images that shows up when you search “Wildcat” on Google. This is many peoples mascot… Idiots.

YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING!  MORE FREAKING WILDCATS?! Last week brought two teams with this wimpy mascot and so does this week.  A wildcat is slightly more terrifying than a house cat.  It’s not terrifying at all.  Ban the Wildcat!  Ban the Wildcat!  The Utes were a Native American tribe that is well-respected.  The Ute skins the Wildcat alive and then cooks it over a fire while receiving nothing more than a scratch.

Oregon Ducks vs. Virginia Cavaliers – Saturday 12:30 P.M.

What a ridiculous match-up.  Let’s turn to our friend, Dictionary.com to help us sort this out.

cav·a·lier
ˌkavəˈli(ə)r
noun
1.a supporter of King Charles I in the English Civil War.
2.a small spaniel of a breed with a moderately long, noncurly, silky coat.
duck
dək
noun
 1.a waterbird with a broad blunt bill, short legs, webbed feet, and a waddling gait.
2.a pure white thin-shelled bivalve mollusk found off the Atlantic coasts of America.
Umm…  Virginia was named the Cavaliers because there were a lot English people in Virginia in 1888, apparently.  Take a quick look at the second definition of each word.  That doesn’t bring any clarity to this situation.  Do we pick the waterbird or the King Charles supporter?  For years, humans and ducks have lived in harmony aside from some people duck hunting.  I’m giving the slight edge to the Cavaliers because I ate duck on Sunday.  Credit to the Ducks for scheduling a confederate soldier and a British supporter in their first two games though.
Portland State Vikings vs. California Golden Bears – Saturday 2 P.M.
Last year, I got confused and wrongly called Portland State the Pilots.  I would like to take this moment to publicly apologize for that comment.  Now, for this match-up we have something special.  These are two mascots that have gone extinct in the real world.  While this does happen, it’s not a regularity and indeed makes this special.  If these two were alive, this would be quite a match-up.  A Scandinavian Pirate against a bear that is fairly closely related to a grizzly?  I’ll buy a ticket to that any day.  If life has taught me one thing, it’s to not mess with pirates so… The Vikings win a close one while losing an arm or two thanks to the bear.
Hawaii Rainbow Warriors vs. Oregon State Beavers – 5 P.M.
The Rainbow Warriors make another appearance this week and come against the beavers.  There’s not much commentary to add to this fight.  A beaver might be able to gnaw on someone’s ankles but a rainbow warrior would have a spear.  Beavers are taken down by the Rainbow Warriors because of a spear sticking out of its furry back.
Central Arkansas Bears vs. Colorado Buffaloes – 5 P.M.
Now, this is intriguing!  It’s a tough one to choose and not in the way choosing between a waterbird and a King Charles supporter was.  If a buffalo charged at a bear I am extremely curious as to what would happen.  Would the bear simply step out-of-the-way and make a counter-run at the buffalo?  Would the bear hold his ground and try to take the buffalo horns on?  Would the buffalo send the bear flying back and then proceed to stomp on it?  I feel like I should mention that Central Arkansas is often referred to as the ‘Sugar Bears’.  I don’t know what that means.  If life has taught me one thing, it’s to not mess with a buffalo.  Buffaloes beat the Bears barely (alliteration), mostly because I like it when that buffalo runs out onto the field.
Arizona Wildcats vs. UNLV Rebels – 7:30 P.M.
You already know where I’m going with this.  The only intrigue here is what the rebels are rebelling from.  It is interesting a team from Las Vegas is called the Rebels and I do like it when the mascot name has a connection to the city.  Because of that, I’m a fan of the Rebel mascot, even with it being nondescript.  Wildcats are dumb.  Rebels stomp on the Wildcats until they die.
Washington State Cougars vs. USC Trojans – 7:30 P.M. 
Our first conference game gives us a nice human vs. animal fight.  Cougars are quite frightening even if you have a sword, I’m guessing.  Trojans would be able to stand a few attacks because of that armor they wear.  Speaking of Trojans, it’s cool that they’re called that and play in the Coliseum.  Home field advantage doesn’t often isn’t considered in these fights but since the Cougars will be placed into the Coliseum with the Trojans I’m guessing the humans stand a much better chance than if they were out in the wild.  The home field comes advantage comes into effect for the first time ever in the mascot posts, as the Trojans barely kill the Cougars.
San Jose Spartans vs. Stanford Cardinal – 8 P.M.
Oh, Stanford how I missed you.  Stanford’s mascot has a confusing history but all you need to know is they are named after a color.  Because I refuse to put a color in the mascot battles, I use the tree that they have dressed up as their mascot.  It is easy to make fun of a tree because almost everything can take it down or get on it aside from a Wildcat.  It is awesome to have a tree and a beaver in the same conference.  As far as the Spartans go, I count them in the same light as Trojans.  Mighty warriors and such.  I think Spartans could figure out a way to chop down a tree.
Well, that’s it.
– Andrew

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by | October 10, 2012 · 11:32 pm

Around the Pac-12 – Week 7

Last week brought with it the inaugural mascot melee.  This is week 2 of that, but you’ll have to make it through all of the football games first.  The mascots will be after the jump.  The Pac-12 football teams, on the other hand, will be talked about before the jump.  You can read both, or not.  One will be interesting and ridiculous, while the other will still be somewhat interesting, hopefully, and not so ridiculous.  How’s this for an introduction!  Let’s talk some football.

This Week:  Arizona State (Bye) at Colorado (Bye)

This is the Thursday night game that will be shown on ESPN.  What a barn burner they picked.  Arizona State is a surprise team and could make a run at the South division but count me in as a guy who doesn’t totally buy in to the Sun Devils.  I’m still trying to figure out what a Sun Devil is, to be honest.  This team has a good defense, although I question their secondary.  The offense is a bigger concern.  Colorado is bad.  They won one game by magically beating the Cougars.  They probably won’t win another one, although I wouldn’t be surprised if they kept this one a little bit close.  Arizona State should improve to 5-1 after this game, which is the same record they had last year before they collapsed.  Just saying.

This Week:  California (beat UCLA 43-17) at WSU (lost to OSU 19-6)

Cal went out last week and tried to salvage their season.  They succeeded.  WSU went out last week and tried to salvage their season.  Their defense gave a good effort but they failed.  Cal had looked lost all season before playing UCLA and now it seems that the Golden Bears aren’t as close to teetering off the edge as we thought.  They should be 3-4 after this week and, while that’s not great, aspirations of a bowl are still in tact.  WSU players said that they still think making a bowl is doable this week.  Logically that’s correct.  But, have they watched themselves on tape?  Seriously, that team has a lot of holes.  They might surprise someone this season and I guess this is as good of game as any?  But, no.  It probably won’t happen.

This Week:  Oregon State (beat WSU 19-6) at BYU

The Beavers magic will be tested this week.  That’s not because BYU is a good team.  In fact, I think the Beavers have beaten three teams that are better than BYU already, but it’s because they’ll be without their quarterback, Sean Mannion.  BYU will be a challenging place to play and it will make for an interesting task for new quarterback Cody Vaz.  OSU didn’t look all that impressive against WSU last week but you have to take into account that Sean Mannion was playing on a bad knee all game.  The defense continues to impress.  The Beavers are ranked in the top 10.  How weird is that?

This Week:  Stanford (beat Arizona 54-48) at Notre Dame

The Cardinal played a barn burner on Saturday against Arizona.  It was the exact opposite game that they played against Washington the week before.  I don’t know what to make of the Cardinal.  If they could put it all together, then they’d be a top-15 team but I just don’t see them doing that this year.  Notre Dame is a tall task for Stanford and I don’t expect them to get it done.  I hope they do.  The Pac-12 could use an Oregon State or Stanford victory this week, both would be fantastic.

This Week:  UCLA (lost to Cal 43-17) vs. Utah (lost to USC 28-38)

This could turn in to a really ugly game.  Both of these teams suffered disappointing losses last week.  Utah had USC on the ropes and had some points gifted to them.  They took an early lead only to get dominated in the second half.  It’s been a very disappointing season for the Utes thus far.  I only wrote that sentence so I could use the phrase ‘thus far’.  UCLA played their worst game of the season and, like a true UCLA team, got drilled by an opponent they should have beaten.  Now, they’ll try to regroup.  If they’re a true UCLA team they probably won’t regroup.

Byes this week:  Oregon, Arizona

Oregon is good.  Arizona is probably the best 0-3 conference team in the country but that doesn’t mean they’re good.  The Wildcats let Josh Nunes beat them last week.  Husky fans will laugh at that.  Matt Scott and Ka’deem Carey are on fire right now though.  As a Husky fan, I don’t like that Arizona has a bye the week before they play us.  As a Husky fan, I don’t like Oregon.

I plan to preview the USC-UW game a little more on Friday.  After the jump we move on to the mascot melee on one of the more controversial Olympic sports.  Continue reading →

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by | October 3, 2012 · 9:39 pm

Around The Pac-12 – Week 6

This week, on ‘Around the Pac-12’, we’re debuting something new.  It’s something exciting and extremely informative.  It’s a mascot ranking!  Every week I’ll think of categories or events and rank the mascots based on how well they’ll do.  If you’ve read these posts at all, you know that I enjoy sports team’s mascots.  Since we’re out of non-conference play I don’t have the opportunity to find new mascots.  Last week Matthew came up with this idea and I’m going to run with it.  It may turn into its own weekly post.  For now, the mascot rankings will fall after the jump* so that you get all of the informative stuff and have the opportunity to stop reading if ridiculous rankings aren’t your thing.

* Of course, I will still be making jokes and dumb comments in the informative part of this post.

This Week:  Arizona (lost to Oregon State 38-35) at Stanford (lost to Washington 17-13)

Well, we know what happened with Stanford last week.  Their quarterback won’t be able to win games for them.  Fortunately for the Cardinal, he won’t have to.  What is also concerning is that Stanford couldn’t just push around the Huskies.  They do that against most of the Pac-12 and it will be interesting to see if they will be able to do this for the rest of season.  Arizona is starting to look like the team we thought they were in the pre-season.  Arizona can and will score quite a few points but it doesn’t seem as if the defense will be able to hold many teams down.  They’ve given up 87 points in the last 2 games.  Of course, this was against the two Oregon schools, two of the best teams in the conference.  This is an intriguing match-up and could really provide some clarity in the Pac-12 race.

This Week:  California (lost to Arizona State 27-17) vs. UCLA (beat Colorado 42-14)

The Golden Bears are now 1-4.  They have played tough against Ohio State and Arizona State but simply don’t seem to have the quarterback to win games.  They have the talent and I think they’ll start to win a few more in the weeks coming, but this isn’t the start to the season they’d imagined.  UCLA did what they were supposed to do last week and beat Colorado fairly easily.  They have moved to 4-1 and could wind up having a pretty interesting South division race with ASU and USC.  That’s something I didn’t think I’d say at the beginning of the season.  This week provides a battle of the bears and I really don’t know which bear is superior.  Probably the one that’s not a statue.

This Week:  Oregon State (beat Arizona 38-35) vs. WSU (lost to Oregon 51-26)

Oregon State continues to show that they are the most improved team in the conference, and maybe the country.  I don’t think they’ll continue to win every single game but winning 9 or 10 games is definitely a possibility now.  It’s tough to win in the desert and that’s exactly what the Beavers did.  They should improve to 4-0 this week.  Wazzu played Oregon pretty tough in the first half.  The Ducks played a pretty simple defense against them and didn’t blitz often in the first half, which showed the rest of the conference what not to do.  The Cougars are improving but I don’t know if it will be enough to win another game this season.  They’re up against a stiff opponent this week.

This Week:  USC at Utah 

Both of these teams had a bye last week.  This game is on Thursday night.  Utah has been fairly bad all year and are playing well-below pre-season expectations.  Even though USC has only one loss, they are playing below expectations as well.  They have the talent that makes me think it’s only a matter of time before they get rolling but it may never happen.  They should win this week though.

Byes:  Colorado (lost to UCLA 42-14), Arizona State (beat California 27-17)

Colorado got back to their normal way of life this week after their miracle in Pullman.  That might have something to do with UCLA being a much better team than WSU.  Barring something crazy, Colorado will finish the season 1-11 and Jon Embree will join Jeff Tedford in unemployment or having toasty buns from the hot seat he’s sitting on.  Arizona State is headed in the other direction, but I do question their level of opponent.  Their defense appears to be strong but I don’t know if the offense has enough playmakers.  Time will tell.  For now, they have to be feeling good sitting at 4-1.

That’s all the match-ups.  Now, on to the good stuff after the jump!

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